A Government Recipe (For Disaster)

First pre-heat your political fervour to maximum temperature –
Introduce a badger cull, cut taxes for the rich.

Ingredients:
Several thousand badgers (without TB)
1 row of Liberal Democrats (lightly mashed)
1 tin of evaporated sorry (for the inevitable broken pledge)
1 large dose of unemployment, debt
1 shredded NHS
1 pack of carrots chopped (for the plebs)
1 home-grown Boris Johnson (for the comic effect)
1 pile of printed money (for quantitative easing purposes)
1 large bucket of arrogance

Method:
Ensure all ingredients are well blended together – use a wooden spoon
but put aside the farmers and the animal activists – they do NOT mix.
Warning:Β Be sure to use heat-proofed gloves – a scalding likely.
Note: This procedure could take 5 years to complete.
In the meantime, emigrate.

by Louise Hastings

Written in response to Clarissa Dickson Wright’s assertion that we should cook badgers killed in the imminent cull The Independent
And with apologies to Ann Chance and her winning poem Hadron Collider Star Recipe published in the Poetry News πŸ˜‰
On a more serious note, please sign the anti-badger cull e-petitionΒ Thank you!

9 thoughts on “A Government Recipe (For Disaster)

  1. Very, very clever poem Louise ~ wish I’d written it because it’s absolutely spot-on! Yes, I saw the Ann Chance poem in Poetry News ~ lol ~ another comp that we didn’t win ;)) Well done you for a change of style & pace ~ I think it really, really works. Send it to The Guardian πŸ™‚ x

  2. Very clever πŸ™‚ That’s much how our current situation here is the US!! – except the missing ingredient would be “hope”. That was splashed about plenty last time, but it appears to have vanished this time out!

  3. did she say that about the this disgraceful plan of culling badgers @##?/ so agree with Marsha and Pete send it in – absolutely spot on – the voice of us all – hugs lib

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